...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize