i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
