Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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