My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
