Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
