You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
