Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
