yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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