Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
