as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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