Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
