I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
