you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
