i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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