What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
