He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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