actually, I'm a sock model
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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