is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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