Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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