I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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