So drunk its hurt
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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