Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
