oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
