I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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