please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
