I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
