feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
