I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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