I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
