I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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