Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
