drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
