You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
