Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize