kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
