He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
