guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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