I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize