I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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