I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
