Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
