If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
