hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
