I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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