He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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