So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
