you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
