The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize