I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
