Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
