id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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