I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
