i need an iv and a liver transplant
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
