in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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