Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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