Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
