I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
