Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The air was thick with penises
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
