Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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